Kombucha: The Real (Smelly) Deal

    I heart Kombucha. Kombucha is my buddy. When I think of Kombucha, I think of frolicking in the park and swinging on swings. Kombucha always makes me feel better, even if it's delivery is a little...off. 

    Kombucha is tea that has living organisms in it. The bacteria that breeds these feel good fellas is called a Scoby, and this Scoby looks like a big, disgusting booger. But that Scoby, when allowed to live in tea for a few days, leaves behind an ancient line of beneficial bacteria that boosts the immune system out of control and knocks out the uglies that plague us. The claims of Kombucha are just as wild as any other miracle cure's; everything from curing bloat and acne to cancer. But I know one thing, it's that it can knock a cold out of me in a couple of day's time, and the naturally occurring effervescence settles stomach aches quickly. 

   One big thing to keep in mind, though: DO NOT SHAKE IT. Generally, I'd be telling you to shake whatever you have, because it's fun to yell for people to 'shake it,' but in this case, it will ruin your car upholstery, and leave your hair smelling like vinegar vomit for the remainder of the day. 

This blog post will be revisited later on. 

Don't leave me. 

Green smoothies, perfect breakfast food? Or prank on your coworkers?

    I love my morning smoothies. They make me feel good, they pack me full of fiber and nutrients, and they generally gross out my coworkers. This morning, I had a blueberry, apple, almond milk smoothie with a heaping scoop of fresh made peanut butter. Looked like vomit. But it was delicious. 

   Smoothies are the most time efficient way to get a good breakie in when you have to work some obnoxious morning shift, but it has become a staple of my intake. By tossing greens and some not milk (soy, almond, coconut, etc) into my insanobot (aka my blender) and thoroughly pummeling it, then adding frozen and fresh fruits, I know I get my protein, fiber, fruits and plenty of greens for a serving. You'd be amazed at how well apples mask spinach, green leaf lettuce, and kale. Or how nicely cucumber can taste when paired with oranges. The thing I find most important about why I choose a smoothie over juicing, is that smoothies retain all the pulp and a ton of the fiber and nutrients. Besides, I have low blood sugar and need that heft. 

   So, what to blend? Freaking anything. I literally go to the store, buy a bunch of whatever fruit and veggie is on sale, freeze most of it, and smoothie shit together. Easy. My freezer is full of golden green beans, strawberries, apples, a half of a mango, bananas, and some nectarines. I'm a hoarder. I love making apples a staple of each concoction, because they are filling and cheap. Then I add pretty colors, and choose a theme for that day. Lately I've been obsessing over peanut butter we sell fresh made at my store with absolutely nothing in it but peanuts, though sometimes I want to get my greens the more colorful way and obliterate them in my machine. I also like adding my vanilla Alive powder to my smoothies, but the possibilities are endless. I know many enjoy Chia or Flax in their shakes, adding protein shots, fresh ginger, or sprouts (which I very much so want to start doing). 

     Considering I'm a pill popper (I take like 8 supplements a day), I make sure to eat some toast with my smoothie, to make a nice cushion for my pills to rest on, instead of making me want to die, instead of my usual wanting to kill. The most important thing about smoothies is to preserve your frozen veggies and fruits in a smart and sanitary way. Blanch veggies prior to freezing, never freeze anything that's already half gone, be sure to wash your foods first. Just because it's labeled Organic doesn't mean someone didn't touch it with their bare hands. 

     Get your blender, get going, and get your green smoothie on!

A Miso Recipe... Because it's delicious

   I'm not much of a chef, but I love miso soup. I love all things Asian, actually. But finding an earth rocking miso soup isn't always the easiest task. However, making earth rocking miso soup IS an easy task. In addition to it being delicious, miso is rich in protein, has a highly usable natural form of manganese, and B vitamins. I've read about it containing lactobacillus acidophilus, which is one of those good gut bugs, but I haven't found enough confirmed information to necessarily believe it. 

   Miso is fermented soy paste, depending on how long the miso has been fermenting dictates the taste and color. White is the baby, it's the virgin. It ferments the least amount of time and tastes the lightest. I recommend it to people when they intend to serve miso soup or as a dipping paste beside white fish, because white fish the Justin Beiber of protein. Yello miso has just hit its preteens, it is starting to rebel and has a slightly stronger flavor. Red miso is the Murderface of this rock band. Red miso plays guitar, it's been in jail for public intoxication, red miso is who you call when you want to party. It's the miso that has fermented the longest and taste the strongest.

   Miso is fermented soy paste. Miso Soup is contained sex. So how does one make miso into sex? First, you start with the real ingredients:

• Vermacelli noodles, the rice noodles that are super thin and turn see through after they hit warm water
• Veggie broth, I love Better Than Boullion 
• Scallions
• Firm tofu (don't be a pansy, just do it)
• Nori
• Excellent Miso paste (reference color guide)

   Ready? It's pretty fast, so I'll be pretty. And fast. Get water to a rolling boil and add broth and scallions, immediately reduce heat to low. Toss vermacelli and small cubed tofu to pot, tear pieces of kombu into water. In a separate bowl, whisk together warm water and your miso. Once the broth mix is cool, stir in miso. Bam. Done. And I cannot and will not give you measurements. I LOVE nori, so I pile it in, I also love a ton of rich, red miso. And noodles. And scallions. I do it rich and big, so play and see what you like. 

    And never forget, when you reheat miso soup, never allow it to boil. Boiling kills all of the good for you bugs that grew during the fermentation process. If you have half a soul, pull it out of the fridge and enjoy it on your deck, while listening to the neighbors bicker. Perfect summer evening. 

    Until next time, get going and get...red miso in your belly!

Nasal Irrigation: Put that in your nose hole and (don't) blow it

    I love nasal irrigation. I have been using a neti pot since people thought it was a drug use device. For many years, I have been using this beauty:

    The idea is easy enough, you add water and the premixed salt, tilt your head to the side, hold the spout of the neti to the top nostril, and allow the saline water to travel through the top nostril into the bottom nostril. I'm close enough to this neti pot that I probably should name it. But, over the years, I've found some methods that work, and some starling articles that have forced me to change how I do things. 

   There was a huge uproar, haha I can't call it an uproar if only a handful of people knew about it, there was concern in the natural nerd community about the safety of neti use when not one, but two people died in Louisiana from using this technique. Brain eating ameoba. Scary, eh? But those people were using unpurified water from a dirty ass body of water. I, however, am paranoid. I now boil water ahead of time, or gently heat bottled water. It was an isolated case, it happened nowhere near where I am now, but it's still something I protect against. 

   Now, a considerably less interesting alteration in my method, I started mixing my own salt. No iodized, fine ground salt, and baking soda. The salt flushes out the excess mucus and the dirt, the baking soda soothes your nose holes and prevents irritation and burning. I usually use a half and half mix, resulting in about a teaspoon of mix per neti pot. 

   Since moving and being introduced to a new method, I think I have to cheat on my neti pot. I am now using the Nasopure, and I must say, this love affair is just working. We shower together every day, and it's just such an easy relationship. I do my same mix, use hot ass water, but the plastic allows the temp to drop to a usable level faster, and the method itself speeds up the process! A little pressure to the body of the bottle, and a few seconds later my nasal cavity is singing. My neti pot and I spent a ton of quality time together, with the slow gravitational flow of water, but this one is straight to the point, and is no nonsense. I have been so good about using this method, that my allergies don't exist and I never say I just don't have the time. 

       Seriously, it's terrifying the first few times using any method of nasal irrigation, but it's worth it. Get that spout in your nose hole, and get green!

Enzymatic Detox: Day 5

    So, I'm half way through this detox and I must say, this one doesn't suck. I have been, admittedly, allowing myself to get dehydrated, which is causing some nausea, but aside from that, there is no hot sweats, no cramping, no uncontrollable crapping of my pantaloons, and I'm not nearly as bitchy as I usually am on a detox. My skin is looking clearer, which effing awesome because since I've made the move to this new village, my skin has been rebelling from the heat and terrible wind. My appetite has diminished and changed, but that might be mental. 

   Honestly, I'm used to constant hot sweats, stickiness, smelling weird, and hating my life when I'm on a detox. I'm used to complaining constantly and forcing my friends and loved ones into avoiding me like the plague until the detox is over. It may be because of this ridiculous heat I'm living in as it is, but I'm not feeling all the usual symptoms, so I'm questioning the viability of this detox. Is it working as hard even though it's not so hardcore? Do detoxes need to make you contemplate suicide in order to prove their worth? I'm only half way through, so I have no answers. I just know that if this is how this detox works, and it actually does the trick, that I have my new favorite detox. 

   On an unrelated note, my kitty got a bath today. He smells like so fresh and so clean clean. 

        A secondary blog is coming up....right meow, so get going, get green, and get to the next blog. 

Detox 1: Enzymatic Therapy 10 Day

   Nothing I say in this blog is meant for medical purpose. I am not medically certified whatsoever, if you have any concerns about how a detox will affect any pre existing medical condition, consult you doctor. 

   Since I've moved to this village, my diet has changed, my sleep habits have changed, my activity level, stress level, everything has changed. So, while everything else in my life is new, why would I assume my digestive tract could roll along as usual? I can definitely see and feel the change, so I figured now is the perfect time to do a detox to reset my belly. Give my stomach that turbo charge it needs in order for it to keep up with the changes in my life. 

    What are signs pointing to a good time to detox?

    For me, I know it's detox time when I feel sluggish, start getting stomach aches that are subtle but resilient, when I get very telling skin sensitivity and irritation, and when no amount of coffee will speed me up. Other signs can include mood disruptions, trouble sleeping, digestion changes, loss of appetite, acne, muscle pain, cramping, allergies, and any other sudden onset of general discomfort. I say sudden onset because some of us just have allergies all of the time, or occasional acne, but if you're life is changing, or you've just been eating really shitty lately, it's probably a good time to detox. 

    Ok, I guess I need a detox, what kind? I HAVE TOO MANY CHOICES!!!

    There are a ton of options here, there are store bought packs for daily detox, 5 day-30 day runs, there are rice fasts, water fasts, juice fasts, fruit fasts, every type of detox or fast you can imagine. But what's the difference and where do you start? I know I made my decision based off of how long it's been since I've detoxed last, my intake, my activity level, and how uncomfortable I can afford to be. I've been eating poorly and not doing any regular detox or fast for long enough that I know that a one day fast can't do the trick, but with my job being so rigorous, I know I can't do a hardcore fast or a long term detox. I chose a from-the-box 5 day detox system. 


   In the case of NOT being a piggie, a one to three day brown rice fast (only eating brown rice), one to three day fruit fast (one eating fruit, including tomatoes, avocado, and cucumber), or one day water fast ought to do the trick. For people who have the ability to be uncomfortable for a month, and haven't fasted in a long time, going longer is definitely better. But I'm going to get real, doing an all inclusive blog about detox and fast is impossible. I'm going to just write about the ones I do as I do them. I wanted to give a taste as to some options though. 


   Fine, so what's the detox you chose and what makes it a detox?

   The detox I went with was one I haven't done before. I chose Enzymatic Therapy 10 Day Whole Body Cleanse. I chose it because it included a citrus flavored fiber and acidophilus. It has a three part system, so capture pills that you take daily, that run in your blood stream and belly, pulling the nasties, the fiber wraps those nasties into gift wrapped boxes and aids in flushing them from your body. The acidophilus (yes, I can pronounce this, and am required to say it at my job) boosts the good bacteria in the stomach, and eases any stomach pain that could arise with doing this detox. 

   I took the first 5 pills last night, and as oppose to some of the detoxes I've done, there's been no stomach pain or cramping today. The fiber powder was tasty, which I hadn't expected, and, it might be because it's my day off and I had a list of things to accomplish, but my appetite has already reduced drastically. However, that could also be mental. There's something about being on detox that compels me to eat less, eat healthier, and be mindful. This detox is really easy, too. I have been on ones that require many pills, multiple times a day, and my memory sucks. This one I take the pills at night, drink the fiber when I want, take the acidophilus pill when I want, and reap the rewards.

   Well, wish me luck! And I'll be sure to update on how this detox method goes. I hope I can bypass all the usual discomfort and that this detox will just be smooth sailing!!

Until next time, get going, get green, and get...clean?

         

Supplement Update: Melatonin

   I am not one to fall asleep easily. I have to have just the right surroundings, the room must be silent, have the correct temperature, and then there is the mental factor of my stupid brain never stopping. Or even pausing. For many years, I had to be on and off with a slew of prescription and non prescription sleep aids. But I think I may have found the answer recently. 

    Melatonin occurs naturally in our silly little brains, but due to outside influences like man made light sources, radio waves, incredible sugar and caffeine intake that has become the norm, and daily stress, that regulating hormone has reduced in our systems. Melatonin is the hormone that tells our brain that it's night time, and thus the time to relax and go to sleep. Melatonin is made from an amino acid called tryptophan, so that explains why Thanksgiving meals generally end in nappy time. But, for those of us who don't plan to ingest turkey feasts nightly, there are supplements on the market to do the trick. 

    Currently, I am taking 3mg dissolving tablets of melatonin nightly. For less uptight people, there are 1mg versions available. I've been taking them for almost a month now and I can definitely tell the difference. Melatonin use is geared to be used short term, it sets your bodily schedule for rest and builds your natural melatonin production. I try really hard to take it at about the same time every night, but am great at taking it at least a half hour before bed. Considering how lame my brain is and how whiny I am about my sleep station, I am impressed at how the melatonin is working for me. I go to sleep easily, rarely wake up in the night, and wake up ready for the day. Now if only I could end my caffeine addiction, I would be much better off with the state I wake up in! 

   But a cup of morning coffee is sooooo sexy! 

Get going, get green, and get yo sexy ass some coffee.