The Thomas Edison of Dirty Hippie Nonsense

     So, I'm doing a new experiment with my body. I love making myself feel uncomfortable, eh? I have quit deodorant, soap, shampoo and conditioner, and all facial products. Hell, I've even quit hair care products. My new arsenal? A tough bristled 'dry' brush, vinegar and water spray, coconut oil, and honey. I'm a delicious salad dressing, guys!

    Before the shower, I get my face a little wet and slather on a thin layer of honey. When I hop into the shower, I spray down my hair with a 1/4 ratio Apple Cider vinegar to water mix, then let that sit as I use the dry brush wet to clean my skin. Starting with my feet and using long, even strokes, I brush up my body to my upper chest, then start again at my fingers going up my shoulders and around to meet where I left off before. Avoiding my money maker (face), I give everything a good scrub and I extra scrub my armpits, to kill off that bacteria that would otherwise cause me to smell. While I rinse off the dirt and unwanted skin, I carefully work my fingers through my hair from the root to tip, moving the natural oils from my scalp throughout my hair and working out dirt. A swipe of a wet washcloth over my face to clear the honey, and I'm calling it done. A few tiny drops of coconut oil (and for my shoulder length, thick, incredibly curly hair, that's crazy talk) divided between my scalp and tips of hair to combat frizz is all that's left. And that's it. The rough brush stimulates the lymphatic system, which cares for your skin better than anything you could do, but it also works as an exfoliant, cleanser, and the cutting of harmful (and drying) sulfates leaves no reason to lotion up. The vinegar works loose dirt without stripping beneficial oils from the hair shaft, allowing the oils to cut frizz and fully exhibit the full curl my hair has. The honey is a natural moisturizer, antiseptic, and anti-inflammatory, so it does everything all at once. And by giving the thorough scrub (and being patient through an adjustment period) to my armpits, I no longer have body odor, unless I drink alcohol. Then it's awful. Right now it is 2am, after a sweltering day in Denver, helping throw a receiving truck, and I smell like: Nothing.

     Now, this has only been a week so far. My hair has seen this routine before, so I know the mane will only get more luscious and tamed in the next couple of weeks. Even now, my curls are keeping shape for 2 to 3 days, where with commercial products they were keeping one day at most, and that was with pieces not curling at all. My incredibly sensitive, damage prone body skin has been making huge improvements, most of the skin looks and feels much healthier than before and I have fewer spots of irritation. My face is pissed off. It doesn't help that I just sugar waxed my brows and keep picking at the few spots on face that I do have. But, my hope is that this will help to even out my skin tone and prevent more damage from being done to my face skin.

     This is just my first week check in. Let's see what will need tweeking or what will stand strong and fix me. Up next? I'm thinking of posting my super simple, but ridiculously lush lip balm recipe. Hmmm.. Decisions,

 

My dog, Mercury, and I after a hike, with clear skin and pretty hair.

Getting clean can feel so...dirty.

    I hate doing laundry. The hot, sweaty laundromat area of my apartment complex, having to see that neighbor who can't possibly leave their load of laundry and instead stands there staring at me while I toss my unmentionables into the dryer and I wonder if he takes my panties as soon as I leave the room, I hate waiting around for the exact time the washer or dryer stops so I won't forget during my errand running time, sinking another dime into this black hole that is my complex fees, and I hate hauling clothes up and down stairs. But I DO have a new meditation method, and it happens to result in my clean clothes.

   I decided to take back my days off, take back my money, and moreso, take back my fear of some stranger stealing my panties. After entirely too much hunting online, I pieced together that I could easily wash my clothes in the bath tub using the same detergent I used in the machine, and then line dry using damn near anything strung between two sturdy pieces of whatever. So, how?

    Same as with machine washing, cold water is good for dark colors to prevent bleeding, hot water helps get whites whiter, and agitation is necessary for a good clean. I toss my darks or light into the tub, fill enough water to cover them, put in some detergent, and agitate well. I have a stir spoon that I always use to stir up at clothes and then I give them a scrub against themselves and squeeze excess water out of them before putting them into a laundry basket. I half fill another bucket with cool water and take the basket and bucket to where I set up my laundry line, which I'll describe in a bit. I grab a piece of clothing, rinse THOROUGHLY in the bucket, squeeze to remove excess water. Wringing can damage clothing, and some people use a salad spinner to remove excess water, but I sure don't. I hang my shirts and shorts on hangers and clothes pin them at the seams to avoid weird clip creases, pants I hang from the legs with the waist band at the bottom, socks I hang from the toes on hangers, undies I hang however I want because they're mine! Also, I usually hang them on hangers, but that's on my own terms. A warm day with a slight breeze is the perfect day to hang dry, makes shirts dry in a few hours and pants done in about 6-8. I enjoy washing a load before bed and line drying over night, that way I wake up to clothes that are clean, dry, and smell like morning dew.

    My clothes line made me feel genius when I thought it up. I looked online for pricing and availability of commercial clothes lines, but didn't particularly like any of them. So I went to the hardware store and spent a whole 3$ on light link chain just long enough to span my balcony, a wood screw, and a hooked screw. I screwed one side of the chain to my wall, and attached the hooked screw to the other side. I decided to get fancy and spray paint my chain line turquoise. When not in use, I can take the line off of one side and let it hang, or leave it up and let my friends clothes line themselves on my balcony. Depends on how I feel on any given day.

Clothes chain in full affect

    Once my current supply of commercial detergent is gone, I plan to make my own detergent. I have some recipes, but I don't want to give recipes I haven't even tried yet.

    So, the verdict? I love this. I love the feel of getting my hands in the water, kneading the clothing, hanging the clothing, the smell, feeling free of time restraints. It's actually really meditative and puts my anxious mind at ease, being able to care for myself and live mindfully is really awesome. Plus, it's an awesome conversation piece when I have no other awkward things to talk about.

I Hate Flying Things (Natural Bug Repellant)

    'Tis the season for fun in the sun, playing by the pool, hikes, camping, long nights spent on patios with lemonade...and flying blood suckers, crawling blood suckers, itchy and irritated skin. Summer is like that ex girlfriend that your friends like, but she ended up cheating on you. When she's gone, you remember the good times, yearn for that warmth again, but when she's back, you remember how she betrays your trust. Well, no more. It's time to take back your summers without feeling icky, sticky, and itchy.

 

   
   An Ounce of Prevention:
There are so many mixes you can make at home to stave off the blood suckers. These mixes repel fleas, ticks, mosquitos, and flies, and can be used on humans and most domesticated animals with fur, however always do a test patch with a 24 hour wait before doing a full body spray on yourself or others, as everyone's different. Spray these mixes on directly before outside play or, if you sleep with the window wide open like I do, before bed. Reapply if you get all nasty sweaty or wet.

All of my mixes start with a base of 1 part apple cider vinegar (ACV) to 5 parts water, then I add any of the following essential oils, in any delicious combos. On average, in a 5oz bottle I total about 10-15 drops of essential oils, depending on how caustic the essential oil is. My list of bug repelling essential oils include:

• Lavender
• Tea Tree
• Citronella
• Peppermint
• Orange
• Lemon

 

 

   Right now I am using lavender and lemon in my spray, so it also doubles as an all around skin healing spray. I spray it onto sun burns, scrapes, and bug bites.
   Want to go a step further? Drink ACV daily! 2 tablespoons in your drinking water daily naturally repels bugs. Though, on a smellier note, eating a bunch of garlic and onions do the same, though you'll probably end up repelling more than just bugs.

   A Pound of Cure:
When bugs DO strike, acidity helps take the immediate sting down and relieves some of the skin irritation. Lemon juice and vinegar are extremely affected. If your skin is ridiculously sensitive, like mine, a baking soda pack helps to draw out some of the toxin that causes excessive inflammation, which will then help it to heal faster. Also, an Epsom soak will help to draw out the irritants, but the heat can be counter productive. Of course, a strong immune system is your strongest weapon to overcome bug bites.  


     To debug your home and outdoor spaces, the same scent apply. Simply add enough drops of any of the above listed oils to any of your household cleansers for the oil's scent to shine through, and clean as usual. I love Dr. Bronner's liquid soaps, generally in lavender, and I add tea tree oil to it when I use it to wash down my hard surfaces and add it to hot water to steam clean my floors (commercial floor cleaning liquids are full of so much junk!). For outside, light some candles, add some of the above essential oils to the burning wax, and BOOM, bug free zone.

What are your go tos for debugging your home? Debugging yourself? Any personal tips you have that you swear by?

The blind leading the...fuck that.

     So, I have been harboring pin hole glasses for over a year now and am still only recently using them. Pin hole glasses were originated by Doctor Bates, an old timey eye doc who wanted to find a solution to sight deterioration instead of a crutch for it. I believe he found the answer. Through  series of eye relaxing and strengthening exercises, and with the inclusion of pin hole glasses, many have seen measurable and long lasting results I just started using these glasses a couple of days ago, only using them to watch distance when I am not at work, and I am already noticing a huge difference. On average, I have been using them about an hour a day these past three days, at first it is difficult to focus, but after a few minute it is relatively easy.
     Pin hole glasses are opaque glasses with tiny holes in them, they are generally plastic and have no prescription to them. They narrow the focus of the eye and shield from excess light, which has dual purpose. The force to focus strengthens, while the reduction of light relaxes There are addition exercises that help to heal the eyes more efficiently, like palming which is when you literally cup your hands and put those cups over your eyes, it is supposed to be a relaxing break when your eyes are faced with harsh lights over long periods of time. There is also sunning, when you close your eyes, face the sun, and slowly turn your head from one side to the other, allowing your eyes to experience both full light and full shade, this should be done in a continuous, but slow, motion for several minutes, this forces your pupils to desensitize to light and aids in focus, leading to an enhanced 'crispness' to your vision. Then there are exercises like focusing on something close to you, then something far, and switching back and forth, allowing your eyes to focus on that object before changing distance, over time your eyes learn to focus more quickly. Many exercises I've found revolve around practicing focusing the eyes.
     DO NOT DRIVE IN PIN HOLE GLASSES. IF YOU DO, YOU DIE. DON'T DO IT.
   

                                  Me in front of a bomb painting my...uncle in law(?) painted,

   I'm bored of writing about the boring stuff, do they work? I don't know. I can't say definitively that they do anything yet. I know that today I had a meeting at my work and took off my glasses because the meeting didn't require me to see anything, just listen, so I popped off my glasses and tried to read the signs on the wall unaided. Success. I am already able to control focus of my eyes enough to read things I wasn't previously able to. And no, I don't squint, that leads to wrinkles, as a rule I will only get wrinkles by smiling Also, my eyes ache considerably less when my prescription glasses are off now. They used to ache so bad without the glasses that I would even wear them for reading, which is stupid because I am near sighted. I took off my glasses a few more times today and tried reading things that I knew I couldn't a week ago, and there were a few struggles, but I saw improvement. I would love for my eyes to focus out enough to only need glasses for driving. That would make me incredibly happy.

Take a Walk in my Shoes...If You Dare

     I just started wearing barefoot shoes. No, not the weird toe shoes, those won't happen for me, I can't even deal with toe socks. However, I was doing a hike in Boulder with my dog, and decided it was time to introduce her to cold, running river water, and had to take off my shoes, then struggle to dry my feet to put my shoes back on. This all was simply too much for me. I looked up amphibious shoes online and happened upon the Vivobarefoot Ultra, considered a barefoot shoes because of it's incredibly thin sole, zero heel drop, and flexibility. I was a little put off by it, I won't lie. My lady feet are very sensitive and I didn't know how I would do with them, also my hips and legs ache and twitch at night, so I didn't want to piss them off.
    But, I was still excited to try them out, especially with my lofty summer goal of a hike every Monday. IF this pair of shoes was as multifunctional as they said in the description, I would possibly never have to change my shoes for anything! They came, I tried them on, love. There is a inner sole that fits glove tight and makes my hikes feel so secure, and with the ability to grip my toes, I can climb up and down much steeper rock facings than I have ever been able to before. Without the inner sole, they are like full incasement sandals (which I adore), when I stomp around in puddles or rivers, I know my feet are safe and will dry in no time. I liked them so much, that I ended up getting their Freud II for my work shoes and everyday wear, considering the Ultras look a little too silly for my everyday wear.
     With exercising full function of my feet, I no longer have any foot pain, even when I am standing (or sprinting) on concrete all day for work. My hikes are more productive, I can go longer, I can explore more, I feel safer climbing now. But, the absolute best part of it, is how connected I feel to the Earth. Walking mindfully and with purpose has helped me feel grounded, even inside, even with shoes on, I feel the dips of the grass, the stones underfoot, the full incline and decline of hills, it's pretty amazing.
     Bonus perk: I haven't had leg twitches and hip pains at night since I fully transitioned to barefoot shoes. It could be coincidence, or it could be that I am learning my body better and treating it better.

     Now, this was not just a blind experiment, I did a ridiculous amount of research on how to transition correctly so that I wouldn't hurt myself. There are many sites suggesting splitting your day into sections, planning what sections are 'regular' shoe time and what sections are barefoot shoe times, gradually increasing the ratio of barefoot to 'regular' shoe time in order to build tolerance. I had intended to do that, but I had been spending so much time truly barefoot, that my feet loved the barefoot shoes and transitioned quickly. Being truly barefoot had intensified my sensitivity in my feet and made them a little tender already, so the barefoot shoes felt like a vacation! When I tried switching between regular shoes and barefoot one, the regular shoes made my feet hurt and calves tight, so I forewent even playing that game. It took about a week before my legs felt normal again, and my feet were a little tender, but it went smoothly because I listened to my body.

                                          These are my Freud IIs in pink.

Kombucha: The Real (Smelly) Deal

    I heart Kombucha. Kombucha is my buddy. When I think of Kombucha, I think of frolicking in the park and swinging on swings. Kombucha always makes me feel better, even if it's delivery is a little...off. 

    Kombucha is tea that has living organisms in it. The bacteria that breeds these feel good fellas is called a Scoby, and this Scoby looks like a big, disgusting booger. But that Scoby, when allowed to live in tea for a few days, leaves behind an ancient line of beneficial bacteria that boosts the immune system out of control and knocks out the uglies that plague us. The claims of Kombucha are just as wild as any other miracle cure's; everything from curing bloat and acne to cancer. But I know one thing, it's that it can knock a cold out of me in a couple of day's time, and the naturally occurring effervescence settles stomach aches quickly. 

   One big thing to keep in mind, though: DO NOT SHAKE IT. Generally, I'd be telling you to shake whatever you have, because it's fun to yell for people to 'shake it,' but in this case, it will ruin your car upholstery, and leave your hair smelling like vinegar vomit for the remainder of the day. 

This blog post will be revisited later on. 

Don't leave me. 

Green smoothies, perfect breakfast food? Or prank on your coworkers?

    I love my morning smoothies. They make me feel good, they pack me full of fiber and nutrients, and they generally gross out my coworkers. This morning, I had a blueberry, apple, almond milk smoothie with a heaping scoop of fresh made peanut butter. Looked like vomit. But it was delicious. 

   Smoothies are the most time efficient way to get a good breakie in when you have to work some obnoxious morning shift, but it has become a staple of my intake. By tossing greens and some not milk (soy, almond, coconut, etc) into my insanobot (aka my blender) and thoroughly pummeling it, then adding frozen and fresh fruits, I know I get my protein, fiber, fruits and plenty of greens for a serving. You'd be amazed at how well apples mask spinach, green leaf lettuce, and kale. Or how nicely cucumber can taste when paired with oranges. The thing I find most important about why I choose a smoothie over juicing, is that smoothies retain all the pulp and a ton of the fiber and nutrients. Besides, I have low blood sugar and need that heft. 

   So, what to blend? Freaking anything. I literally go to the store, buy a bunch of whatever fruit and veggie is on sale, freeze most of it, and smoothie shit together. Easy. My freezer is full of golden green beans, strawberries, apples, a half of a mango, bananas, and some nectarines. I'm a hoarder. I love making apples a staple of each concoction, because they are filling and cheap. Then I add pretty colors, and choose a theme for that day. Lately I've been obsessing over peanut butter we sell fresh made at my store with absolutely nothing in it but peanuts, though sometimes I want to get my greens the more colorful way and obliterate them in my machine. I also like adding my vanilla Alive powder to my smoothies, but the possibilities are endless. I know many enjoy Chia or Flax in their shakes, adding protein shots, fresh ginger, or sprouts (which I very much so want to start doing). 

     Considering I'm a pill popper (I take like 8 supplements a day), I make sure to eat some toast with my smoothie, to make a nice cushion for my pills to rest on, instead of making me want to die, instead of my usual wanting to kill. The most important thing about smoothies is to preserve your frozen veggies and fruits in a smart and sanitary way. Blanch veggies prior to freezing, never freeze anything that's already half gone, be sure to wash your foods first. Just because it's labeled Organic doesn't mean someone didn't touch it with their bare hands. 

     Get your blender, get going, and get your green smoothie on!