Friday, August 29, 2014

Bucha Brewin Part 2: The Imprecise Art of Fermentation

     Fermenting has been a necessary form of food preservation for a very, very, very long time. Before there were measuring utensils, before there were crocks, before temperature controlling, there was STILL fermentation. I subscribe to that method of fermentation. What feels right? What tastes right? What smells edible? This article will discuss how fermentation is meant to be primal, and not precise.

     I ferment constantly in my own home. Right now I have 2 jars of halved grape tomatoes with basil fermenting with assistance from whey and salt, I have 2 jars of dill sauerkraut fermenting in my kitchen cabinet with no assistance but from salt and purified water, and kombucha in a forever ferment on my counter. In my fridge is yet more sauerkraut (I love sauerkraut), homemade fermented ketchup, and yogurt cheese. Living, loving buggies are my best friends, and I love cultivating them. But I don't use measurements. In all of my jars, are a handful of this, a dash of that, a splash of whatsits. I figure that if our ancestors relied on this method for maintaining life, then I can roll in that same fashion.

    Keeping check on your foods is the biggest key to the food safety, making sure your ferments are submerged in clean water at all times, checking for the presence of mold, doing sniff checks for rotting, all of these methods have always kept my foods safe. If the foods fermenting are exposed to air, bad bacteria start to form, and mold can start growing. Early stages of mold are very light in color and density and can be simply removed, then you either press the foods below the water line or add more water, but in both instances I suggest adding a weight. Once the mold starts becoming dark; a brown, black, or grey, then it is widely advised to dispose of the whole ferment. Hence why I check in on my ferments often, catching this early can save your batch. I also smell for tartness versus spoilage. A good ferment will be tart and tangy, make you wrinkle your nose without gasping. A bad ferment will make your stomach churn, you brown crease, and if the ferment is somewhere in the middle, my unprofessional opinion is to toss it. That's a risk I don't encourage taking.

     Food fermentation can be intimidating, but once you gain exposure and confidence, you can reap the benefits of fermenting.

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Bucha Brewin Part One: Growing a ne SCOBY

     So, in an earlier post I spoke about how beneficial Kombucha is for your immune system, today I speak about how to take the bacteria by the horns and ride it all the way into fizzy greatness. Kombucha is only Kombucha when it possesses the magic of the SCOBY, which is actually a bunch of bacteria that is super healthy for you, the brewing process is culturing or fermenting, and it's instilling in caffeinated, sugared tea the goodness of live, active bacteria that boost your health and well being. It's also naturally effervescent due to the bacterial load, and can help stave people off of soda, which is essentially the devil. 'Bucha Brewin' is easy once you have the confidence to see the SCOBY as a living creature and can work with her to see what works best for her. Every SCOBY tend to be different, even the reports I've gotten from the split offs from my own Mama SCOBY.

     Kombucha brewing requires a SCOBY (Symbiotic Combination Of Bacteria and Yeast), which you can grow for yourself at home, using a store bought Kombucha, or by finding a nice person to split off some of theirs for you to start your own, or (and it's a big or) you happen to have a store by you that carries SCOBYs, like the ones from Oregon Kombucha Company. For those of you unable to obtain a SCOBY, I can give you the intel on how to grow your own, though it's not fool proof, nothing living ever is.



My SCOBY a few weeks ago, a week after splitting her off 4 times for my coworkers and taking her down to about 4 inches by 4 inches by a half inch. She grows fast.
 
     Buy living Kombucha from the refrigerated section of your local health food store. GT's, High Country, Reeds, and Celestial Seasonings are just a few. They will be in liquid form and in the refrigerated section, the dried kombucha teas will do you no good here. Only buy Original Flavor, or unflavored Kombucha when preparing to grow a SCOBY, because if you get a flavored 'Bucha, you'll generally get a weaker SCOBY and the flavoring stick with the future brews. I've known of many who had good luck with the Originals, though. Now, when selecting, get one with the most amount of grossness in the bottom of the bottle. That grossness is actually yeast that can help to create the culture we're aiming for. Now, bring that bottle home (maybe a couple of extra to sip on while you wait to brew your own, and an extra if the first try doesn't pan out), drink a little out of that bottle, pour the remaining 'Bucha into a wide mouthed container, add a little bit of sugar, cover loosely, and wait. A note about sugar: white, cane, brown, and molasses seem to all work, but honey has natural anti bacterial properties, which will damage and generally kill the SCOBY, which consists of a ton of bacteria. Amount of sugar doesn't matter, just have a gentle hand with it. The sugar feeds the yeast and helps it start growing again, but don't drown it out.

     Now, this waiting game may take a week, or it may take a month. In warmer months it takes less time than in colder months, but if the yeast is weak from temperature fluctuations, handling, or time, then it'll take longer no matter what month you start this adventure in. A healthy SCOBY starts growing bigger and stronger within a few hours, a weak one may never take off. You'll know if it is working because a very thin, viscous, almost booger like mass will start taking form on top of the 'Bucha, it will be even in color (generally colorless, but sometimes a light tan color) and width. Over time, it will get thicker and less boogertastic, but for its awkward baby and adolescent years, deal with it. Once this Baby SCOBY is about a quarter inch thick, move her into a pint jar or larger, always with a wide mouth. Now, you can make first round of Kombucha, though it might be a little rough. Teenagers are not known to be reliable.

    

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Smelly Bitch - Going Deodorant Free

    I stopped using deodorant about 2 weeks ago. I know, weird move. But about 6 months ago I tried to read the ingredients on my commercial antiperspirant and completely regretted it. So I started using mineral stones for my under arm odor, and loved them. While it was a different feeling to get used to, I enjoyed knowing my pits were a little safer, and I liked that I never smelled bad. But why stop there? If I am to be a super hippie, I can't settle with second best.

    I apparently smell like Indian food. When I first went antiperspirant free, it was scary for me. I was diagnosed with hyperhidrosis during puberty and was such a sweaty bastard, that's why I used the hardest core sweat killer ever, and have been since. But when I stopped, it only took about a month or so before my sweat production slowed to not very much at all. I'm not embarrassed at all anymore. Then when I decided to try deodorant free, I smelled very slightly the first few days, but so long as I ensure a scrub my underarms well every day, I don't have any issues. I use a dry brush in the shower and run the brush over my under arms a few times to make sure any bacteria that causes scent is gone.

    In the first week I went out and had a drink, one. And the next day I reeked of hockey player. The day after, the smell was much less, and the days after I was back to not smelling. I can sometimes smell myself, but not often, and after two weeks I finally asked my boyfriend if he had noticed any scent from me. If anyone can tell, it'd be him. And, nothing. Surprisingly, he stopped wearing deodorant about 2 weeks before me and I hadn't been able to tell either. When I asked a woman I work with, she said she had noticed a few days prior that I smelled like Indian food. Spicy. It had been a day I had been working hard physically, so I guess that's a good thing.

    So, I don't see a reason to start smearing myself with chemicals again. I mean, I still have the mineral stone in case I hit a rough patch of smelliness, but overall I feel like this is the safest, most natural method, and with my sexy pheromones now flowing free, I've noticed all the difference, if you know what I mean..

So fresh and so clean clean


Thursday, August 7, 2014

The Thomas Edison of Dirty Hippie Nonsense

     So, I'm doing a new experiment with my body. I love making myself feel uncomfortable, eh? I have quit deodorant, soap, shampoo and conditioner, and all facial products. Hell, I've even quit hair care products. My new arsenal? A tough bristled 'dry' brush, vinegar and water spray, coconut oil, and honey. I'm a delicious salad dressing, guys!

    Before the shower, I get my face a little wet and slather on a thin layer of honey. When I hop into the shower, I spray down my hair with a 1/4 ratio Apple Cider vinegar to water mix, then let that sit as I use the dry brush wet to clean my skin. Starting with my feet and using long, even strokes, I brush up my body to my upper chest, then start again at my fingers going up my shoulders and around to meet where I left off before. Avoiding my money maker (face), I give everything a good scrub and I extra scrub my armpits, to kill off that bacteria that would otherwise cause me to smell. While I rinse off the dirt and unwanted skin, I carefully work my fingers through my hair from the root to tip, moving the natural oils from my scalp throughout my hair and working out dirt. A swipe of a wet washcloth over my face to clear the honey, and I'm calling it done. A few tiny drops of coconut oil (and for my shoulder length, thick, incredibly curly hair, that's crazy talk) divided between my scalp and tips of hair to combat frizz is all that's left. And that's it. The rough brush stimulates the lymphatic system, which cares for your skin better than anything you could do, but it also works as an exfoliant, cleanser, and the cutting of harmful (and drying) sulfates leaves no reason to lotion up. The vinegar works loose dirt without stripping beneficial oils from the hair shaft, allowing the oils to cut frizz and fully exhibit the full curl my hair has. The honey is a natural moisturizer, antiseptic, and anti-inflammatory, so it does everything all at once. And by giving the thorough scrub (and being patient through an adjustment period) to my armpits, I no longer have body odor, unless I drink alcohol. Then it's awful. Right now it is 2am, after a sweltering day in Denver, helping throw a receiving truck, and I smell like: Nothing.

     Now, this has only been a week so far. My hair has seen this routine before, so I know the mane will only get more luscious and tamed in the next couple of weeks. Even now, my curls are keeping shape for 2 to 3 days, where with commercial products they were keeping one day at most, and that was with pieces not curling at all. My incredibly sensitive, damage prone body skin has been making huge improvements, most of the skin looks and feels much healthier than before and I have fewer spots of irritation. My face is pissed off. It doesn't help that I just sugar waxed my brows and keep picking at the few spots on face that I do have. But, my hope is that this will help to even out my skin tone and prevent more damage from being done to my face skin.

     This is just my first week check in. Let's see what will need tweeking or what will stand strong and fix me. Up next? I'm thinking of posting my super simple, but ridiculously lush lip balm recipe. Hmmm.. Decisions,
 

My dog, Mercury, and I after a hike, with clear skin and pretty hair.

Saturday, August 2, 2014

Getting clean can feel so...dirty.

    I hate doing laundry. The hot, sweaty laundromat area of my apartment complex, having to see that neighbor who can't possibly leave their load of laundry and instead stands there staring at me while I toss my unmentionables into the dryer and I wonder if he takes my panties as soon as I leave the room, I hate waiting around for the exact time the washer or dryer stops so I won't forget during my errand running time, sinking another dime into this black hole that is my complex fees, and I hate hauling clothes up and down stairs. But I DO have a new meditation method, and it happens to result in my clean clothes.

   I decided to take back my days off, take back my money, and moreso, take back my fear of some stranger stealing my panties. After entirely too much hunting online, I pieced together that I could easily wash my clothes in the bath tub using the same detergent I used in the machine, and then line dry using damn near anything strung between two sturdy pieces of whatever. So, how?

    Same as with machine washing, cold water is good for dark colors to prevent bleeding, hot water helps get whites whiter, and agitation is necessary for a good clean. I toss my darks or light into the tub, fill enough water to cover them, put in some detergent, and agitate well. I have a stir spoon that I always use to stir up at clothes and then I give them a scrub against themselves and squeeze excess water out of them before putting them into a laundry basket. I half fill another bucket with cool water and take the basket and bucket to where I set up my laundry line, which I'll describe in a bit. I grab a piece of clothing, rinse THOROUGHLY in the bucket, squeeze to remove excess water. Wringing can damage clothing, and some people use a salad spinner to remove excess water, but I sure don't. I hang my shirts and shorts on hangers and clothes pin them at the seams to avoid weird clip creases, pants I hang from the legs with the waist band at the bottom, socks I hang from the toes on hangers, undies I hang however I want because they're mine! Also, I usually hang them on hangers, but that's on my own terms. A warm day with a slight breeze is the perfect day to hang dry, makes shirts dry in a few hours and pants done in about 6-8. I enjoy washing a load before bed and line drying over night, that way I wake up to clothes that are clean, dry, and smell like morning dew.

    My clothes line made me feel genius when I thought it up. I looked online for pricing and availability of commercial clothes lines, but didn't particularly like any of them. So I went to the hardware store and spent a whole 3$ on light link chain just long enough to span my balcony, a wood screw, and a hooked screw. I screwed one side of the chain to my wall, and attached the hooked screw to the other side. I decided to get fancy and spray paint my chain line turquoise. When not in use, I can take the line off of one side and let it hang, or leave it up and let my friends clothes line themselves on my balcony. Depends on how I feel on any given day.

Clothes chain in full affect

    Once my current supply of commercial detergent is gone, I plan to make my own detergent. I have some recipes, but I don't want to give recipes I haven't even tried yet.

    So, the verdict? I love this. I love the feel of getting my hands in the water, kneading the clothing, hanging the clothing, the smell, feeling free of time restraints. It's actually really meditative and puts my anxious mind at ease, being able to care for myself and live mindfully is really awesome. Plus, it's an awesome conversation piece when I have no other awkward things to talk about.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

I Hate Flying Things (Natural Bug Repellant)

    'Tis the season for fun in the sun, playing by the pool, hikes, camping, long nights spent on patios with lemonade...and flying blood suckers, crawling blood suckers, itchy and irritated skin. Summer is like that ex girlfriend that your friends like, but she ended up cheating on you. When she's gone, you remember the good times, yearn for that warmth again, but when she's back, you remember how she betrays your trust. Well, no more. It's time to take back your summers without feeling icky, sticky, and itchy.
 
   
   An Ounce of Prevention:
There are so many mixes you can make at home to stave off the blood suckers. These mixes repel fleas, ticks, mosquitos, and flies, and can be used on humans and most domesticated animals with fur, however always do a test patch with a 24 hour wait before doing a full body spray on yourself or others, as everyone's different. Spray these mixes on directly before outside play or, if you sleep with the window wide open like I do, before bed. Reapply if you get all nasty sweaty or wet.

All of my mixes start with a base of 1 part apple cider vinegar (ACV) to 5 parts water, then I add any of the following essential oils, in any delicious combos. On average, in a 5oz bottle I total about 10-15 drops of essential oils, depending on how caustic the essential oil is. My list of bug repelling essential oils include:
  • Lavender
  • Tea Tree
  • Citronella
  • Peppermint
  • Orange
  • Lemon
 
 

   Right now I am using lavender and lemon in my spray, so it also doubles as an all around skin healing spray. I spray it onto sun burns, scrapes, and bug bites.
   Want to go a step further? Drink ACV daily! 2 tablespoons in your drinking water daily naturally repels bugs. Though, on a smellier note, eating a bunch of garlic and onions do the same, though you'll probably end up repelling more than just bugs.

   A Pound of Cure:
When bugs DO strike, acidity helps take the immediate sting down and relieves some of the skin irritation. Lemon juice and vinegar are extremely affected. If your skin is ridiculously sensitive, like mine, a baking soda pack helps to draw out some of the toxin that causes excessive inflammation, which will then help it to heal faster. Also, an Epsom soak will help to draw out the irritants, but the heat can be counter productive. Of course, a strong immune system is your strongest weapon to overcome bug bites.  


     To debug your home and outdoor spaces, the same scent apply. Simply add enough drops of any of the above listed oils to any of your household cleansers for the oil's scent to shine through, and clean as usual. I love Dr. Bronner's liquid soaps, generally in lavender, and I add tea tree oil to it when I use it to wash down my hard surfaces and add it to hot water to steam clean my floors (commercial floor cleaning liquids are full of so much junk!). For outside, light some candles, add some of the above essential oils to the burning wax, and BOOM, bug free zone.

What are your go tos for debugging your home? Debugging yourself? Any personal tips you have that you swear by?

Thursday, June 12, 2014

The blind leading the...fuck that.

     So, I have been harboring pin hole glasses for over a year now and am still only recently using them. Pin hole glasses were originated by Doctor Bates, an old timey eye doc who wanted to find a solution to sight deterioration instead of a crutch for it. I believe he found the answer. Through  series of eye relaxing and strengthening exercises, and with the inclusion of pin hole glasses, many have seen measurable and long lasting results I just started using these glasses a couple of days ago, only using them to watch distance when I am not at work, and I am already noticing a huge difference. On average, I have been using them about an hour a day these past three days, at first it is difficult to focus, but after a few minute it is relatively easy.
     Pin hole glasses are opaque glasses with tiny holes in them, they are generally plastic and have no prescription to them. They narrow the focus of the eye and shield from excess light, which has dual purpose. The force to focus strengthens, while the reduction of light relaxes There are addition exercises that help to heal the eyes more efficiently, like palming which is when you literally cup your hands and put those cups over your eyes, it is supposed to be a relaxing break when your eyes are faced with harsh lights over long periods of time. There is also sunning, when you close your eyes, face the sun, and slowly turn your head from one side to the other, allowing your eyes to experience both full light and full shade, this should be done in a continuous, but slow, motion for several minutes, this forces your pupils to desensitize to light and aids in focus, leading to an enhanced 'crispness' to your vision. Then there are exercises like focusing on something close to you, then something far, and switching back and forth, allowing your eyes to focus on that object before changing distance, over time your eyes learn to focus more quickly. Many exercises I've found revolve around practicing focusing the eyes.
     DO NOT DRIVE IN PIN HOLE GLASSES. IF YOU DO, YOU DIE. DON'T DO IT.
   
                                  Me in front of a bomb painting my...uncle in law(?) painted,

   I'm bored of writing about the boring stuff, do they work? I don't know. I can't say definitively that they do anything yet. I know that today I had a meeting at my work and took off my glasses because the meeting didn't require me to see anything, just listen, so I popped off my glasses and tried to read the signs on the wall unaided. Success. I am already able to control focus of my eyes enough to read things I wasn't previously able to. And no, I don't squint, that leads to wrinkles, as a rule I will only get wrinkles by smiling Also, my eyes ache considerably less when my prescription glasses are off now. They used to ache so bad without the glasses that I would even wear them for reading, which is stupid because I am near sighted. I took off my glasses a few more times today and tried reading things that I knew I couldn't a week ago, and there were a few struggles, but I saw improvement. I would love for my eyes to focus out enough to only need glasses for driving. That would make me incredibly happy.